Few days ago, I attended an extended education conference of my denomination (C&MA) where Rev. Paul I. Sohn (손인식 목사님) was the speaker. As a pastor of a large/healthy church (Bethany Church) the distilling of his experience was precious; With ambition for a big church and a dream to be teachers of pastors, I sought him out for a one to one mentoring. I wanted to extract as many techniques of ministry as possible. But I got what I did not expect and would not have gone if I had known beforehand. I thank God for the grace of ignorance so I can be trapped by God’s love.
I went to Rev. Sohn’s room with my wife, hoping my wife would “overhear” the necessary qualities of a succesful pastor’s wife so she could make the adjustments to help me in my career. But the coversation went off track and before I knew it, my eyes filled with repentative tears as I came to see my selfish ways with the one most dear.
I think I would have fought this realization to the last dying breath except that Rev Sohn exposed me by opening his life, sharing from his marriage life, from the brink of destruction to a transformed Eden. His vulnerability defused all my defensive mechnisms.
Now I am not at a place where I can share the details of my repentance, for I am still in the process of it, a “metanoia,” but I do see things differently. Since then, even the scripture speaks to me with great clarity. All this time I had thought I could plumb the depth of scripture through my seminary trained intellect. I realize that purity is a better exegesis tool (“Blessed are the pure..for they shall see God”).
well said Sam and, more importantly, well felt. as i said elsewhere, take heart knowing that greater awareness of our sinfulness is a good sign that we’re getting closer to a holy God. fight on brother!
Thanks steve…I don’t think this process of pruning is bearable without prayer friends…fellow pastors like u remind us that we are not alone, which is encouragement enough. I am sure Daniel’s buddies were firmer in their faith because they were not going into the furnace alone.
Mr. Samuel, it looks like your arestating to loose your faithor the enemy is touching you?Faith moves the waters, so it couldmoved your (?) about your porpuse of life and you job and to pray harder for your brothers and sister to God and with Jesus and the Espituu Santi. The Blood of Jesus will clean in deep your soul of the daugths and questions……..Lest pray……..Mors et vita duelloConflixire mirandoDux vitae mortuusRegnat vivus…………A friend
Hello Mr. Sam :Is me that one you don’t want to answer, but read Eclesiastes 7.20 El que ama el Dinero, no se sacaria de dinero, y el que ama el mucho tener, no sacara fruto. También esto es “vanida“